It definitely wasn't the right thing for me to be doing. I have never felt more peace about a decision ever than the moment I decided to change all my plans. All I have ever really wanted to do is travel and explore the stunningly beautiful New Zealand, and visit my lovely Ozzie family and hang there for a little while. The real reason I turned this into an epic year or two long working holiday trip is because...
A) I was sort of running away. Finishing my degree, having had a rough couple of years dealing with all sorts of stuff in my life I now realise I got a bit scared! Scared of not having a plan, of not knowing what I was going to do, of being stuck in a job that I had no passion or love for, for life! I turned my desire to see a bit of the world and have a little adventure into something epic that (in my mind) had the potential to change my life by it's sheer length of time and epic-ness!
I still have no idea of a precise plan for life, or no idea of how it's all going to work out but I am unbelievably ok with that. After all I am not in control and I may not have a plan but I know the one who know's it all has has good plans for my life (Thank You God!).
B) I was in a bit of a rush and started to worry about money I figured the only way I was going to be able to afford to do all I wanted to do and not have to wait and save up for years before doing it was to turn it into a working holiday. This was never really what I wanted to do! Turns out with my new plans I am going to have more than enough by saving a 3rd of what I was originally trying to save every month - awesome!
'SO WHAT'S THE NEW PLAN?' I hear you say.
Well.... On the 9th of December I leave England for 2 months, yes only 2 months - full of all the things that I really wanted to do in the first place!
- 3 and a half weeks in Australia - a week in sydney with the lovely cousins Tim and Sophie, a long weekend exploring Melbourne, Christmas with Uncle Dubs and Auntie Rachel, Tim, Sophie and Ned in Wagga Wagga, back to Sydney for New Year (AWESOME!!!), then flying to Auckland on the 2nd january.
- 5 and a half weeks exploring both Islands of New Zealand on a Kiwi Explorer Bus Pass. Sailing, kyaking, sky-diving, mountain walking, sunrise/sunset watching etc etc
- Returning home to England on February the 8th! Home.... home to Mike, home to Bath, home to Freedom. I am going to have an amazing time, I am very excited but after 2 months I am coming home, home to here where I am meant to be :)
Lessons I have learned...
- Having extreme peace about a decision is pretty much a sign you are probably making the right one.
- Life should not be governed by worrying about money. I will always have enough, my God is my provider :)
- I want to go away to explore and have a long holiday, to see beautiful places and visit beautiful family. But right now I am supposed to be here and I simply can't leave it for as long as I was going to.
- Not having your life planned out or knowing how it's going to work is ok.... actually it's quite freeing to realise this :)
- I love my life!
I definitely do not wish that I hadn't planned that epic trip, I don't wish that I hadn't lost a bit of money in the process of changing my plans, I don't wish that I hadn't gone through this process. I have grown so much in these last few months, I wouldn't change that for the world.
So here's to looking forward to December the 9th but also here's to enjoying every moment of my life before and after this trip. :)